A whole new world has opened up for me as this is my first time experiencing the blogging life and I’m extremely excited, i love the content available and I intent to post some really valuable content myself. I’m still in the stage of figuring out what I would like to talk about, however, seems I’m leaning to the educational side as most of my post to me are educational. My desire is to share my experiences; thoughts and knowledge with you’ll and maybe in the near future make a career out of it as I always had a love for literature/ reading , but for now I’m having fun with my writing so please don’t be shy, check out my page.
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The question which seems to be uttered by most person ever since I had my son and his dad and I separated “how do you do it as a single mother”, working, studying, standard of living etc. To be quite honest I sometimes ask myself that very same question, when I reflect on my life and I examine the veracity of some situations I faced in the past, being a single parent isn’t easy but the lord has truly kept me and by extension my son.
Now the purpose of this post is really to enlighten single mothers that although thing may look dark and gloomy they are not alone and God has a plan for every situation that has occurred in your life. If we are to be truthful there are a lot of issue surrounding single parents, and it’s usually a never ending battle. As a single mother I’m only too familiar with these issues but I have made the best of every situation and God keeps working it out for me. Hagar from the bible is a perfect example of the life of a single parent mother.
But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.” Genesis chp21: 12, 13.
Now in this bible verse we see where Abraham was admonished by his wife Sarah to banish his eldest son because of conflict within the family which proved true in this situation because Hagar son did not respect the birth of Sarah’s son and because of this we see were conflict was on the horizon. Hagar had a son for Abraham after many failed attempts by Sarah his wife to conceive. Sarah his wife eventually conceives and another son was born which caused a lot of animosity within that household. Hagar was asked to leave in fact banished leaving her with a grave responsibility. A responsibility most single mother today are very much familiar with, Hagar was left to be a single mother; she had the responsibility to bring up her son alone without a father. Therefore, in today’s world we see a lot of single mothers caring for their children independently just as Hagar had to do.
When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she began to sob.
God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he liesthere. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”
Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. Genesis chp 21: 16, 17,18.
Now we see where initially thing were not easy for Hagar and her son and she had given up. However, the promises of God is never to leave us nor forsakes us and as you saw in the passage he made a way when everything seemed dark and dismal for Hagar and her son , Hagar had given up and accepted their faith of death, however, God heard their cry and a way was made. How many times as single parents have we given up, but a way was made through god and everything worked out.
I believe this is the same for all single parents today, as I recall there were times when things didn’t look so well, butalways worked out, and I strongly believe it was Gods hand at work. We have to make the best of every situation and I’m sure 99% of women don’t walk around desirous of being single parents, however due to circumstances it happens and the best has to made out of every situations. That 1% is the exception of those whom consciously choose to be single parents
Moreover, as single parents we now have the duty of both mother and father and a great responsibility to bring up a well-rounded human being. Is it easy, the answer is definitely no, I would say it more trial and error and you definitely have to do what works best for you and your child/children. The responsibilities are great and you sometimes find yourself in a bind. For example there was a time my son had to draw a family tree as a school project and the tree consisted of only the two of us and he turn to me with his cute little face and ask about his father and that’s when it really hit home my son will not get to experience a life with his father as he should i.e. doing son and father stuff together.
Children from single parent homes are rubbed of so many different experiences they would have had if both parents were together.
and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.:|Genesis 21:10
Single parent also has a duty to leave an inheritance for their offspring. That’s where the word illegitimacy really makes sense, it may seem children born under such banner are displaced and often have to find their own way. Let’s examine it together Isaac was the child of both Abraham and Sarah so rightfully his inheritance was justified, however Hagar son being the child of the slave woman had to build his own inheritance, Hagar had to now pave the way for her son, however with God’s help she was able to do so and a great nation came from her son. This is the same with single parents today. When you do get married despite your marital obligations it is your responsibility to provide an inheritance for your child/ children from previous relationships.
However at the end of every road their always greatness, even though there may be a lot of unpleasant aspects related to single parents, there are also rewarding aspects as the unconditional love you will receive from you child.
What has help me a lot as a single mother is the great abundance of family presence, I can’t stress enough how important family can be. So single mother and by extension single fathers you’ll are not alone.
Please share with me some of your experiences as a single parent….
Oh how times have changed, I can vividly remember sitting on our home porch one lovely afternoon when the most awkward conversation took place between my parents and I. The conversation seemed force but necessary and I believe the ultimate goal at that time was to the scare the hell out of me, which it did. I remained scared for some time and really don’t remember quite when my ideology change on the said topic. Thinking back at the conversation I would say it was my parent’s way of telling me what sex was all about, and trying to guide me along the right part when it came to sex as a young woman. I remember the graphic details which hunted my dreams for weeks after and me swearing never to ever have sex, and the stern warning I received to never engage in sex until marriage, oh boy did it work.
Now a mother of one I’m faced with the same predicament of having to have this very candid conversation with my son who’s Now attending high school and is being exposed to a lot more than we parents could even begin to imagine. the need for this discussion became apparent and very necessary, because of those reasons, with technology at our finger tips access to pornography and other sex site are readily available which can reach our children’s young minds very easily. Moreover, If we are to be real sexual gestures are advertised in our everyday life, for example television commercials, movies and even simple cartoons, it’s definitely not something that can be hidden under a rock..
I recall experiencing some awkwardness while having this conversation with my son and I believe it arose because in my mind that’s my baby, however, I realised it has become a very fundamental conversation that each parent should have with their child/children because it’s even more of a serious topic than we may want to let on. As the parents you want to always remain with the steering wheel in your hand and guide your children along the right path.
Sex education is even part of the school curriculum now due to the many dangers involves, for example, abuse, sexual transmitted diseases and even teenage pregnancy. The real emphasis here is parents taking hold of their children and guiding them along the right part one of my favourite scripture which speak about this loudly is “Proverbs 22:6(NKJV) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. This is so true because I still hold true to some of the values in still in me as a child by my parents, this scripture speaks volume.
However, some may argue which I’ve heard a couple of times “yuh make the child but not their mind” now while that may be true it’s still our duty as parents to guide our children along the right part and ensure we produce an individual who is a great asset to society.
Now thinking back at that awkward conversation, I can safely say I relate and totally understand where my parents were coming from, all they ever wanted was the best for their children and for us not to make the same mistakes they made. Keep your children close and always keeps the lines of communication open you’ll be surprise what you could have missed it wasn’t.
A quick meal that can be done at anytime during the week, prep time less than fifteen minutes and can fill any empty stomach. Liver which contains loads of iron provides that balance for any meal and can be enjoyed with almost anything. Today I had my son help prepare this quick and easy meal which we both enjoyed after a long day of work and school.
Today I had the privilege to make a dish which can satisfy an army of hungry men, it’s the famous buttered provision that can fill your heart with joy not to mention your stomach. The Recipe consist of whatever provision you love, and can be served up with any stew of your choice or enjoyed just on its own. Hope you enjoy the recipe and have fun making your own creation.
Buttered provision Recipe
1 whole onion finely chopped
5 clove Garlic, finely chopped (approx.).
Celery finely chopped
6 tbsp butter / equivalent to the amount of provision used.
Provision i.e yams, cassava, eddoes etc. Method
Begin by peeling desired provision rinse and place in pot boil until fully cooked approximately 20mins or until knife can pass freely through provision. Add salt to water this can be eye ball according to your liking,
After provision has cooked drain water, let cool and cut up into bite size pieces.
Cut up desired seasoning, mines was very simple, due to what i had in my pantry however you can switch it up by adding your herbs of choice.
In a separate pot add 6 tbsp butter remember butter must be able to coat every piece of provision. Allow butter to melts and then add seasoning to butter, allow to cook or until seasoning is lightly coloured. Add bite size provision pieces to pot and mixed everything together or until all provision is covered in mixture. Simmer for approximate 15 minutes and your favourite dish is ready to eat.
That quote we all love to hear so much, it holds great meaning to life and it seems to be a significant part of the human existence, what is life without love, where would we be without love. I believe we would die a slow death if we existed in a world without love. The bible speaks of several occasions where love is shown, a perfect example a candid account of love which was spoken of in the book of 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.”
The even bible goes on to give several accounts where love is depicted and explained , however, with all that information we still seem to misconstrued what love can be. I can recall at a very young age seeking out answers regarding love and the responses I got where priceless. Each individual had their own twist to what love can be and what they felt ultimately it was, but, most agreed that love is definitely a feeling that can’t be explained, others said it a feeling that can make you do crazy things and, also makes you act out of character.
As humans I believe we have the opportunity to experience love at some point in our life, in fact love is a natural occurrence, I don’t ever recall ever being taught how to love my family it all came naturally. As for loving someone you intend to spend the rest of your life with I would say that love is a totally different experience, although it may seem to be a natural occurrence, no one could ever prepare you for that feeling of gold. However, as time goes by those feeling of love takes on different perspectives especially for persons who experienced some sort of heart break/ hurt due to love. However, What I have ultimately learnt is that loving someone is a pure selfless choice that we all make unconsciously and it can be very beautiful thing depending on our choices.
Now this went on for probably a week or more where I found myself cleaning twigs and dirt from my back, an added chore that could definitely do without, I kept looking for the source of my problem until I made the gruesome discover or so I thought. It was a mother bird building a nest around her new-born baby birds where she would nestle them until they were mature enough to survive on their own.
However despite my great annoyance I did not interfere with the nest I allowed those lovely birds to strive until they were fully grown, as the days went by my added chore became a pleasure as I enjoyed having my new found neighbours greet me as I opened my back door in the morning before I left for work, singing sweetly as they always did and putting a smile on my face.
They are now grown and long gone but I still reminisce of their beautiful presence in my back yard.
An article published in the Guardian Newspaper has condemned the action of a 35 year old married man, who allegedly conducted inappropriate conversations with a minor via a social media network. Screen shots of the conversations were posted to Facebook for all to see, and basically the conversation consist of promises to give the child money, buy a Samsung cell phone and to have sex this weekend. The published photos has since sparked the interest of the authorities including The Children’s Authority who has since picked up the case and a manhunt is on for what we will describe a paedophile .
The police are presently in search of this man and appeals to the nations have been made to reveal this predator’s location. It has definitely struck a nerve in most people as can be seen in the comments section on Facebook.
I had the opportunity to view the screen shots of the conversation between this man and this child and it was alarming and disgusting to think that an adult would be so irresponsible and reckless in his actions. After viewing the conversation it is safe to say that they both have been speaking for some time unknowing to the child’s parents and his intentions were pure evil.
see in the attached picture where the parent eventually got involved.
The Children Authority describes it as sexual grooming, “Sexual Grooming is when an adult befriends a child by building a close relationship in order to gain the child’s trust, with the intention of later engaging the child in sexual activities”.
However in the mist of all this mayhem I’m left bothered with the issues of social media horrors. This is just one example of how social media can corrupt young little minds and leave behind scars that may never heal.
How safe is social media for children I have often ask myself this question and I have lived to realized the harsh reality of it myself when some time a back it struck home involving one of my relatives looking at an inappropriate site. As parents we need to be mindful that just as social media has its glorious moment, it can have its evil ones waiting for its latest victim who can possibly be one of your children.
As parents we need to be mindful of these dangers as social media is a big part of society where most communication occurs, advertisements, exchange of information to name a few.
So the big question remains how can we protect our children from the ills of social media?
Firstly I will say Get involve , meaning be up to date about computers and smart phones , learn the different site, learn how to operate a computer, learn the internet language for example, 2moro -Tomorrow , 2nite – Tonight , BRB – Be Right Back , BTW – By The Way , B4N – Bye For Now , BCNU – Be Seeing You , BFF – Best Friends Forever , CYA – Cover Your Ass , DBEYR – Don’t Believe Everything You Read , DILLIGAS – Do I Look Like I Give A Sh** , FUD – Fear, Uncertainty, and Disinformation , FWIW – For What It’s Worth
These are just a few words but there are plenty more that can be used to conceal a conversation.
If your child needs to be on social media whether for school, group activities etc. create the account that you both can have access to it. You as the parent will be able to monitor the child’s activity and in turn prevent any unpleasant experiences for your child.
Be unpredictable, don’t be a parent with routines, do random search of your child’s room, show up at school for no apparent reason, visit schools or groups that child may be involve in to know exactly what takes place in your absence.
Know all their friends young and old, this will give you a vivid picture of who they associate themselves with. Be aware of adults who may be showing interest in your child wellbeing, some may mean well, but we also have the predators who will stop at nothing to wrong your child.
Talk to you child/ children about the dangers of social media, what are all the possible things which can happen, if use for other reasons intended for example, rape kidnap, human trafficked and worst case scenario death. Be sure that they know the importance of not putting up personal information on social media and also not giving out personal information.
Finally if it can be avoided, do not expose your child to social media until they are mature enough to handle it.
Moreover, Social media websites and applications are sites that continue to enable persons to create and share content or to participate in social networking. A perfect example is my word press account, which is used to share valuable information and experiences. I must say as a parent I’m very concern about these social media horrors. Nothing is ever one hundred per cent safe .